new blog..Finally~

I got a new blog!!!

Go check it out~

http://crabby220.blogspot.com/

Just now I had a conversation with Hsieh Yie.

She informed me that the First Wife is gonna interrogate and mostly hentam me. It's because I asked Ah Fong to be my mum but the daddy pose is kosong then we wei3 qu1 tam puk, ask Hsieh Yie to be my daddy.

SO, I'm the one that should be blame of. It seems like I'm in danger now.

I suggested that we have a gathering. (Since 1st lai and 2nd lai is now in KB...)But according to HY, 1st lai is now jealous and unhappy about her 'flower heart' husband, so I'll be the dai4 zui4 gao1 yang2.

Yer...Big mum Huey Shenn, don't angry lar~

I'm looking forward to hold a family gathering at McDonald(that's the place that we hang out almost everytime!!!) and take a picture of the entire family, including 3rd lai and 4th lai(As an evidence of Hsieh Yie's disloyalty...Muahahahaha!)~

Well, this will remain an imagination if Huey Shenn still angry lar~

See first lo~~~
(I'm sure Huey Shenn will read this while cursing this cat nonstop...ahaha~)

Blah~!

Time flies~

...and the only homework that i've complete is PA(coz just need to simply write and 'ta-da').

Last night was prefect jamuan, to say frankly, not so delicious. The drinks...I can't determine the flavour, it's kinda weird.

Everyone just mix with their own group, but Chuen Ling, Mei Yee and Yen Jie showed up!

Well, Chuen Ling's mouth is still acidic as usual, me sudah kena bom sampai hancur o~

Dunno what to write...Argh!

3rd and 4th lai ~

Now, Hsieh Yie's family expanded.

For your information, she just got another 2 wives!

As I've introduced others in my blog a long long time ago, it's time for me to 'update' this complex family.

-Third wife, Zhen Jee-=.=
Err, how should I start? It's kinda headache when it's time to describe her, coz I'm afraid she'll kill me after reading this post. OK, this Zhen Jee, teach me bad(get more information from 'It's all ZJ's fault' blogpost). Her words always make me think far, far away. She's a good homework supplier that I found this year(since Mei Jiun is in Bio class, it's hard for me to borrow homework). But nowadays her efficiency jatuh secara mendadak. Hsieh Yie the 'flower heart' just married her, making her the third wife. Yen Jie even get jealous when I told her about this. She likes to call Hsieh Yie 'lao gong' in front of me and act en1 ai4. Until now, they haven't have any 'child'. She'll went crazy whenever I told her this. Maybe after seeing this blog she'll immediately adopt a 'child' to shut me up.(Eh Zhen Jee, do you realise that I use ur favourite, qiao purplish pink in your description?)

Fourth wife, Ah Fong
Ah Fong is made up of kasih sayang. She sayang everyone. She even let me put my head on her shoulders in front of Hoe Cheong. The best thing about her is she never scream(Zhen Jee, you should learn this from her!)whenever I'm driving. But she'll make sure that she wears a seatbelt. Now since she's my 'mum', she forced me to call her 'mummy' instead of 'Ah Fong'. Before our 'mum and daughter' relationship started, I asked her, "Eh Fong, can you be my mummy?" "Sure!" My answer really drive her crazy, "But I don't want Hoe Cheong as my daddy." That's the first time she shouted my name(with a wide smile of course).

Now, according to Hsieh Yie, my status can be divided into two. First is 'the stray cat that her kind hearted daughter picked up from the roadside'(damn long name). Another one is 'the daughter of her fourth wife'.

Uh! Typing this is making me headache pulok.

Fighting with...myself?

I'm thinking of starting a new blog to replace this blog.

It's because I can't add gadgets to this blog as I lost my hotmail password(it takes a long, long explaination...blah blah blah)

OK, back to my recent ife==>Summary: LAMNUA

I admit, I ain't doing any homework, so what?

It's normal anyway for a lazy cat like me.

It's due to the rainy weather that makes me wanna keep warm in my bed~Really like a pulpa, huh?

Maria was right. I should make a schedule. But now on top of my 'to do list' is

BEAT THE LAZY INNERSELF!

Come on, man! I know it's all my fault being such a lazy worm.

Someone, or anyone, please provide me some methods to be hardworking.

Please make me a HARDWORKING CAT.

Homework! Homework!! Homework!!!

So, Zhen Jee is finally back from her KL vacation.

I don't think I'll got chance to update this blog liao~

The scene of looking at her do homework will make me feel bad.

That feeling will somehow make me ashamed of myself being a lazy worm.

Maybe many people will say: "Eler! Get this kind of result liao still don't wanna study! You really no cure liao la~!"

It's true. I should have learn my lessons after getting such 'good' results. I should have set my mind to 'fighting or learning mode'. I should stuff my useless brain with all those chemical formulae and physic concepts. I should get back to my books to do all those revisions because I can't even remember how to complete the questions given.

Back to the same problem: SCHOOL MAGAZINE

Argh! It's the same story~It seems like we complete a page, we will found out another 100 pages that we forgot to do.

I can visualise Mr. Wong's face next year: If I can dream , I will certainly don't dream about HY."(Sorry HY, I really think he will say so)

To HY,
OK, I know. I've not been a very helpful PE. I'm not efficient. Sometimes I feel really sorry you for having such PE. I know the advertisement is driving you crazy, but please take care of yourself. Besides, no need to send 'thank you messages' after every meeting la. It's our responsibility to do so. By the way, I've finished the Laporan Tahunan(except for the Persatuan Murid-murid Tua that you told me to abaikan)!

Cat that suddenly feel herself efficient

YEAH~I know! I've talked too much. I should get back to work.

A fact that I suddenly realise(Madam Kwek was right anyway):

NEVER EVER do homework or revision with your handphone beside you. It's DISTRACTING!!!!!

I need MOTIVATION from...you!

Oh! I suddenly realise that this is the most hardworking month since I've started this blog.

Can't get what I mean? Ans: THIS IS THE THIRTEENTH POST FOR THIS MONTH!

I've break my previous record.

Yeah...I know. I write a lot of nonsense stuff. Anyway, this is just for fun. So please don't judge me too seriously.

For the prefect meeting at 28 November, I have to say that I'm sorry I can't attend it. I got other things to do.

Life is boring.

I can't get myself to do homework. Not to mention doing revision.

Summary for my homework:

PHYSIC:
-
YEAH!!! Mr. Lim is the best teacher I would say! He didn't even give us a question to solve during the long holiday! But thinking of the previous homework that I've accumulated since Form 6 start will definitely turn down my mood. In fact, it's becoming HUTANG LAPUK!!! Oh! How I wish I got the brain the complete it~I know Mr. Lim intention is to let us have more time in doing revision, like he always said, "Come on la, please la, do revision. You REALLY need to do revision. Please, do revision."Ugh! This makes me feel bad when our teacher 'begs'(sort of) us to be hardworking.

CHEMISTRY:
Do inorganic chemistry summary and all physical chemistry question in STPM Past Year Paper, ranging from year 1999 to 2007
DAMN! That's the only word I can think of to describe the holiday work. I know all my friends are struggling to understand the stupid INORGANIC CHEMISTRY but I still can't pull myself to reach the books that I've 'inherited' from my brother. It's hard~Please forgive my little brain.

MATHS T1:
All the questions (which Ms. Lee had taught) in STPM Past Year Paper, ranging from year 1999 to 2007
Ah! This is hard. MMT1 is a subject where I apply my 'learn and forget' skill. Every time I want to do it, I manage to find myself digging into the thick MMT1 revision book. All of the question seems to be sooooo unfamiliar. I know I used to finish the questions and I know I can do it before this but now??? Argh! What's happening to my brain? Can I bang it on the wall to make it smarter?

MATHS T2:
Revision Exercise Chapter 8
This subject give less homework compared to other subjects. I know I used to have those integrating functions, probability density etc at my fingertips. However, the methods seemed to leave me after the final exam. I used to do all those homework but now it's erased from my memory completely! Maybe I feel too happy when I know that I got the exam question correct(I was sick and damn dizzy during that exam) until I forgot to do more revision. I need to do all the exercises before getting myself into the revision exercise~

PA:
All the stupid papers that teacher give and STPM 2008 paper
1, 2, 3, ....argh! I don't know how many papers I suppose to receive. I put all the papers in the same file and I think I got enough paper, but after checking with Zhen Jee's, I left out 2 papers. And now, I found out that I'm short of 3 or 4 questions. Come on, how many papers I suppose to get? It's stupid to gather all the questions but I was forced to do so because it 'costs' 50 marks in the coming January(or February?) exam!!! @#&*...

I could visualise your reactions after reading: Eler~got time blogging but no time do revision.

So what? I'm PULPA!

Can someone please motivate this stupid, lazy, sleepy cat to do homework?

Come on babeh!

Zhen Jee, I miss you~

So what? Come on, hit me with your lorry if you dare(and if you know how to drive a manual vehicle~)

Add me!

Finally I've created a new windows live account.

For anyone who are interested in adding me, here's the add:

y i w e n h e n g [at] l i v e [dot] c o m [dot] m y

Add me!

-Days when HY and ZJ ain't around-

At last, Hsieh Yie is back.

Now I'm waiting for Zhen Jee to come back(still got 6 days to go!).

Just now at chem tuition(suddenly realize that I really din pay attention to what's teacher teaching), the following conversation takes place.

Teacher: Where is Hsieh Yie?
Me: She attend wedding, eh, no no no! She got herself married."
Teacher: Really? Then where is Zhen Jee?
Me: Marry to Hsieh Yie.
Shu Wei: Yalor yalor, they marry to each other.
Teacher: You really wanna see me throw shoes~Is there anyone absent besides Hsieh Yie and Zhen Jee?
Me: (trying to be helpful) Got! Chun Hui go back to Taiping!
Teacher: (with a confused face) Chun Hui? Where did he usually sit?
Me: (Point towards his place) Gosh! I'm really 38 today(bad influence from HY and ZJ)
Teacher: Go to Taiping for what purpose?
Shu Wei: (with an excited tone)He attends the HY and ZJ's wedding ceremony!
Teacher: Haha! Yalor...he sure is the ban4 niang2 right?

Haha~Chemistry tuition without HY and ZJ is DAMN boring.

But with Kok Yong's presence, I realise that I can't write the word 'conjugate base' in short form. The first letter from each word will lead to...(Hint: Words that 4K5 pupils used to address me)

At least tomorrow's T2 tuition got HY to accompany me, but PA tuition I sure will be bored to death without ZJ's presence.

Since both of them go for vacation, I 'hat chiu' a lot. Sometimes 6 times in a row!!!

In HY's message, she told me that she just miss me 'one eensy weensy bit'.

According to Kok Yong, it's because the missing from kaya. Haiz Kok Yong, I where got the guts to rampas kaya from you? Admit that kaya actually got feelings towards you la~

Since HY won't admit, I'll take those hat chiu as missing from ZJ(this is kinda SS). This is because I won't admit that I'm 'sick cat'.

Lonely~

It seems like someone complaint me in her blog, so now I won't bom her lo~


It's been raining for a few days liao. Haih...making most of us become moody~


I hate rainy days. I want sunny days!


Hsieh Yie is going on a vacation, so as ZJ, so I'm gonna be lonely until monday.


Nobody will accompany me during chem recess this time...+_+


Boohoo...it's boring! Life without bombing is sooooo meaningless.


Anyway, hope that both of them can come back as soon as possible.

I'M GONNA MISS YOU ALL~

PLEASE COME BACK AS SOON AS POSSIBLE~

Hsieh Yie...it's all because of you!

Yesterday, due to unknown reasons(hsieh yie banned me from saying it out), I've done something that really 'throw my face'.

As Hsieh Yie the perfectionist become director, I was forced to do something that will make her 'HIGH'--

Guess what? I kissed 'someone' in front of Tang Yang, Chun Hui, Hoe Cheong, Sing Yee and of course, HSIEH YIE.

This is because Hsieh Yie said, "Do anything to show your 'love'! Hug her! KISS HER!"

YUP, that's right, it's a her. However, she forbidden me from writing her name out. She said she will paiseh(as if she got seh to pai, haha~)

I would like to clarify that my sebastian-like lips just land on her face, not her lips, of course!

I feel dirty and wanna die after that!

Haih...I think I really lose my face due to the path that I've chosen.

Oh!

Hsieh Yie, see, I 'xi1 sheng1 se4 xiang4', so you owe me one.


OTHERS:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MEI JIUN!!!!
Sorry I post this today because yesterday I'm too tired after 'kissing'(YUCK!)

Chem tuition~

Just now chem tuition, this conversation takes place when teacher is teaching:

Hsieh Yie: Eh, when recess where are we going to eat? I feel like eating char siew pau.
Me: Har? I'm not driving, ZJ oso not driving.
Zhen Jee: (show sudden interest after hearing her name and wanna 38) what? what? I also wanna know.
Hsieh Yie: You're not driving right? Wanna go eat with us after this? We'll ask kok yong drive.
(the colour I use is according to their brain colour, realise that Hsieh Yie colour is much more 'yellow'?)

Then she turn to Kok Yong's direction(at least 3m from us) and whispered Kok Yong's name, hoping him to have super inhuman hearing power to receive those weak sound waves.

Kok Yong seemed to have super power to sense our movement and after some hand movement communication, we all agreed to tumpang KY's car.

I feel that we're so 'good' to put our stomach before our studies. Haha~

Before eating, Kok Yong: You all are so heavy that my engine need to reach '2' to move.
When eating, Kok Yong was impressed by our food's amount: My car need '5' to move now.

It's kinda tiring stuffing our brain with equilibrium constants, rate of reaction, rate constants and blah blah blah, but it's fun to have a bunch of friends to suffer along~



OTHERS:

• I wanna congratulate Mei Jiun for getting the first place in Bio class. You make our family proud eh~
• Since I've congratulate MJ, I think I must congratz Hsieh Yie(or else she'll become unbalance and felt being abai and eat cuka and write me bad bad in her blog and last but not least, MENCACATKAN ME with her piles of files after reading this)

FEEDBACKs from previous blogpost(about the hp case):

• sipe Bodoh!
• You qiao2!
• sipe ben4!
• where got people like this de?!

It's all ZJ's fault!

Last Saturday I went to get a new hp to replace the old, spoilt one.

After taking the hp, I wanna protect and sayang it as good as possible.

I asked for a case.

The uncle ask me back, "A plastic one?"

Thinking of how ugly it will cause my new honey to be, I immediately said no.

Before this, I put my dad's hp on the table and it dropped into my pail of water(for art purpose) as it vibrates.

After receiving a nice, long, boring 'lecture' from my parents, I got my lesson(that is, to keep handphones away from the water)and to avoid history repeat, I want a blurred plastic cover(like Zhen Jee's hp plastic).

We used to tease Zhen Jee's handphone put on a condom(it really looks like one!). For me, the word condom=ZJ's handphone case.

I immediately tell the uncle, "I want a condom for my handphone!"

The uncle who actually don't want recommend using such platic case but still wanna take it to show me it's disadvantages froze and looked at me with his eyes widely open(I'm afraid that his eye balls will drop out). While my mum siku me and said, "EH!"

I sensed my stupidness and changed my words to "a blur blur plastic, will stick the hp at the table one!"

The kind uncle told me that hp will get wet if I use that plastic and gimme a free hp case instead. It's quite nice~

OH! I'm damn embarrassed!

What will the uncle think about me?

Yer yer...Kok Yong, Keng Sheng and Hsieh Yie had done a great job in polluting my innocent mind~

It's all Zhen Jee's fault la use that kind of 'condom'!

Boohoo...my image! my image! It's all gone~

School magazine~

At last, my part is hampir habis!!!

Being a PE is a hard job, but not as 'cham' as Hsieh Yie.

Everyday she go 'in and out' of the classroom, dealing with those fussy and low productive teachers.

I felt so 'kolian' for her. But I think I don't need to worry about her because she got good brain(unlike mine)~

To Hsieh Yie(Editor):
I'm sorry that I'm not a good helper. Maybe you've cursed me for a thousand times but still, SORRY~~~!

For me, I spent most of my time asking the teachers to 'donate' students' karya.

And wait for my typists to finish it off.

A really big THANK YOU I would like to say to the world's most efficient typist, Mei Jiun and Min Fei.

You two really damn efficient until I can't even believe my eyes when I saw those pendrives.

However, those pendrives are 'driving' me crazy.

Now, I help Ah Fong the do her design. Mr. Wong sure have very 'HIGH' taste to reject almost all of our design. It's like everything we design never satisfy him.

It took Hsieh Yie damn big effort to filter all the 'comments' from Mr. Wong.

Although Ah Fong and I tried to pujuk her but she seemed like zipped or locked her mouth.

(It's like someone is jealous about ZJ ar...didn't believe? Check out her blog at http://www.janlee110.blogspot.com/)

We still need a little time to finish the whole magazine. I hope we can finish it as soon as possible.

And I swear I will burn the magazine when it's published!

MUET(part 2)

MUET = kanasai!

First of all, I forgot to bring my pencil. Luckily Mei Huey lend me her pencil, thanks a lot!

I admit that I tikam-tikam for all the objective questions.

I totally have no idea about the essay question. (What is your opinion for being materialistic?)

Damn it! I'm out of points and I used up every second writing, oops! Not writing, wasting my pen ink.

I DUNNO WHAT I'M WRITING!!!

Listening skill is even worse!

I can't hear what the narrator trying to tell me(coz his voice is too 'deep').

In the end, I just fill up the answers space with my own words.

Kill me!!!

Maybe you all think I'm lamnua, but that's me~

Hsieh Yie rocks~!

I think Hsieh Yie and I were really 'man' today.

Case 1:
A few form 3 boys were trying to fight with some of the prefects(if I din 'keep the wrong wind'). Zhen Jee went to 'meleraikan pergaduhan' and some of them had wooden club in their hands. Suddenly the atmosphere changed and they start pushing each other. Zhen Jee was the victim and Hsieh Yie came to the rescue. She ROARED:"Ain't that enough!"(direct translate:'you all enough liao bo?!') The Form 3 boys stunned for a moment before leaving. She(or I should use the word he as kok yong suggested a long while ago? Haha...don't hit me!) rescued Zhen Jee(suddenly I think of Beauty and the Beast story...don't kill me) eh~Wow! Hsieh Yie rocks! Like Hsieh Yie said, 'Saving my wife(ZJ) is my duty.'

Case 2:
I caught a boy with hp but he refused to give us his name(he don't have a name tag!) I suggested that we'll get a male prefect to take out his wallet to check on his IC. He turned to me and the word 'C****!' came out from his f****** mouth. I really wanna tell him this:"Never mind. I got one. Don't envy me leh!"

Hsieh Yie told me:"Man gongz!" and I wanna tell her exactly the same thing.

Yer...Hsieh Yie rescued ZJ and now got sayang from her. I got nothing but a name 'C****'.

I also want sayang! I also want sayang! UNFAIR!!!

P/S: I realised that my name changed to C**** since the day I become prefect.

Spot-check!!!

Walau~

Today, my 'eyes' gone.

'Interesting' incident happened today:
We got a spot-check at the fifth floor. A Form 3 pengawas spotted a girl with a bunch of friend has a handphone. She asked me to take it away(Coz she don't wanna confront with classmates i think) and I tarik Geok Khim and Shuh Huey to help me. I 'tell' (i think i'm commanding actually) her politely to take out her hp by herself. She just soooo nge and said, 'I don't have it.' I repeat my request and finally she showed her nge CBB(don't know this? ask me personally) and pulled our her purse and tissue from her pocket. To convince me that she doesn't have a handphone, she even pulled out the entire pocket. And guess what? To REALLY convince me, she pulled up her skirt(for your information, there's just a black, tight trousers underneath it, NOTHING SPECIAL)

I was too shock to move (I can't even believe my eyes!) and turned to ask for help. Wow! She's so BRAVE and PROUD to show her *****(I think) No wonder my eyes gone red and damn itchy for the rest of the day!(I'm still blinking my eyes to force out tears when typing this)

Mdm. Liew showed up and checked their 'chest'(I don't use the word 'boobs' coz...(I trust you all for knowing the answer). I'm surprised that they(there are 8 of them if I'm not mistaken) can hide two combs in their b**! They kept announcing to the world that:"Teacher wanna check our boobs!" It takes me less than a split second to come out with this idea:"Excuse me, you don't have those, so feel no fear."

Wow! I really, really, really gained a lot of knowledge today. These students have great ideas about sneaking hp and hiding things. I really feel like saluting them!

It's fun to have spot-check anyway~

P/S: Just now 38 and other prefect warned me that the 'brave' girl maybe 'Ahem' me in future. Now kinda regret.

Stupid me!

Sunday, I act DAMN stupidly.

I wanna dedicate my apologize to Hsieh Yie:
TQ, only you can bear my temper and thank you for forgiving me.

Nowadays can't write blog coz my bro is using this pc.

So, be patient.

BUT! I will update this blog as regular as possible, unlike 'someone'.

Peanut Butter~

Due to recent 'incident', my name is now butter and zhen jee is peanut.

(Together we form peanut butter, yummy!)

I like the name butter. Coz...

Reason 1: If I can fly, I become 'butterfly'

Reason 2: There's a Buttercup in Powerpuff girls.

Zhen Jee, on the other hand, like her name peanut.

But there ain't 'peanutfly' or 'peanutcup'.

There's just 'peanut and fly'.

We use peanut and butter instead of 'you' and 'me'.

Eg. my message to peanut:

Eh peanut, butter here. If peanut wanna sleep remember to blanket peanut coz if peanut sleep without blanket it's like 'kacang lupakan kulit'.

From now on. Heng Yi Wen = Butter Heng & Tan Zhen Jee = Peanut Tan.

For your information, Lee Hsieh Yie = Jam Lee.

(Realise that all the names are from the waffle flavour that are available?)

MUET(Part 1)

Thursday morning rain is falling(Maroon 5 'sunday morning')~

Brief description on my stupiak MUET exam:
Went to Zainab 2 damn early. Waited for quite long time in the room as the school was having an assembly. I can't believe that they sit on the cement floor!

I was sooooo nervous that I can't sleep and eat for the past 2 days. I got many many butterflies in my stomach. Even though I tried to chase them out by singing a lot of songs, I still can't make myself calm. Shit! (Hui Ling said my voice is chiao(it should be sexy), got meh???)

Hui Ling, Khai Wei and I were in the same group. I think those examiners surely saw my trembling hands when handing up my IC. I passed my IC to the wrong examiner! I screwed my FIRST IMPRESSION. Damn.

My question is: A good parents should be generous with money. Actually my mind just popped out this idea the moment I saw the word money: Money is the root of all evil. The next second I wanna bang my head on the wall for thinking the idea that oppose my question.

I was so stupid. When the examiner said 'You may read the question', I immediately took my pencil and started writing my points. The examiner, with an impatience voice, tell me: "You are not allowed to write yet." Oh! I'm so embarrassed!

Candidate A:
This Malay boy ended his turn so quickly that I can't even jot down his points. What I know is he kept talking about a movie named "Anakku Sazali". Maybe it's a story about family because his point is about 'spending more time with family'.

Candidate B: It's me la!

Candidate C:
Khai Wei did a great job. I had to agree with her because I kept bombing Hui Ling and I don't know how to agree with Candidate A(his points caused me a headache, really!).

Candidate D:
Hui Ling also quite good. She got hand movement and it makes her looked pro. I thought, "Gosh! Damn pro gongz!" But later I observed that her hands were shivering. She's nervous but still perform well. Finally she agreed with candidate A. We decided to boikot her for 3 days for not supporting 'own people'.

I hate myself. I talked like a spoilt engine. Gagap like hell until I wonder I'm a PROTON car(faulty cars, those who use local car should know it). Damn it!

Anyway, SPEAKING TEST IS OVER! (Boohoo...my poor performance~)

However, the 'listening test', 'ABCD test' and so on is coming up this 8 November. Kinda worry because I haven't write essays for ages and my english ain't broken, it's powdery.

Hillary Duff:
Let the rain fall down, and wake my dreams. Let it wash away my sanity. Coz I want to feel the thunder I wanna scream. Let the rain fall down, I'm coming clean...(During my test, it IS raining, and this song stuck in my brain and it keep on repeating)

Wish me good luck!

Argh!

HELP!!!

What to do? I can't sign in my MSN!

Whenever I try to sign in, it said my account does not exist or I've given the wrong password.

But I've been using 'remember my password' for the past n months.

Is it because I didn't forward those email saying 'pass this to 20 person or else we're gonna delete your account'?

Haih...can anyone tell me what's happenning?

How to do???

I'm fed up!

That's enough! That's enough! That's enough!

Stop telling me about exam. I'm DAMN SICK of it.

I know my results are really kanasai(that's the most suitable use to describe my result).

Stop it!

Damn it!

I don't wanna hear it!

Let's pray that I get at least 10 marks for physic tomorrow.

quote from hsieh yie: I'M A PHYSICS STUDENT DAMN IT!

It HURTS!

Words that would badly hurt people with different horoscope. It's accurate!!!


十二星座致命打擊語錄

牡羊座　“你怎麼這麼慢呀，一點效率都沒有！”

金牛座　“老公，今天商店大減價，我把你的存折提空了……”

雙子座　“哦，昨天是愚人節，那消息是我騙你的，呵呵，你不也老這樣嗎？”

巨蟹座　“一生一世？！開玩笑吧，都什麼年代了。”

獅子座　“真丟人，女朋友都看不住，還兇什麼兇！”

處女座　“不好意思，剛才用你的杯子喝牛奶了……”

天秤座　“其實你的男(女)朋友也沒什麼，就是難看點……”

天蠍座　“我早就變心了，是你太投入都感覺不出來。”

射手座　“如果你愛我，就永遠別再離開我……”

魔羯座　“聽說今年評的優良員工裡又沒你的名字。”

水瓶座　“親愛的，我們今天還是吃牛肉麵吧，雖然我們每天來都吃……”

雙魚座　“什麼？我什麼時候說過愛你了？我愛的是他……”


Ouch! It DOES hurt me...

Miao Miao Jee~

Just now went to tokong(Guan Yin Niang Niang's birthday). Twice in a day because before that (7.00pm) it's toooooo crowded.

I went alone. Walk lonely along the empty street(it's 10.00pm i think)

Take off my glasses. It's kinda dirty.

Suddenly I think I heard someone calling me. But I don't have the guts to look around. (quite sensitive nowadays~)

When I finally put on my glasses, I saw Zhen Jee with her parents.

OH! yuan2 lai2...

Her parents burst into laughter:"Haiz this kid! Can't see without glasses!"

Yeah! I'm MEK MEK WEN, coz I'm ba3 ba3(hokkien means tak peka).

Anyway, I got a new string~

P/S 1: Met Ms. Yong at my first visit to the tokong.
P/S 2: UNFAIR!!!Everybody call me Mek Mek Wen, but none call Zhen Jee Miao Miao Jee!

PCB~wow!

Ohhoho...yesterday we're so mad.

After this exam we're so excited that we planned to enjoy ourselves at the beach. After discussing via SMS, we gather at Zhen Jee's house at 4.30pm.

I felt soooo pity to Hsieh Yie's vocal cord because she kept on screaming when I'm driving. I admit I can't 'drift' like her but I now realise that I also can't scream like her. (it's damn high pitch man!)

Hsieh Yie, Kok Yong, Chun Hui and Zhen Jee reminds me of Uncle Long and Aunty. They commented on my driving skills(which is damn lousy or really kanasai) and I'm like driving with trembling hands. I realized that people sitting behind is heavy(it certainly is!) because whenever we go through road bump....(you know what happen, right?)

At first we said we're not gonna play water, but everyone just take off their slippers and shoes(exclusively for Chun Hui~) and stepped into the water. We're bad~

We screamed, laughed like mad and shouted whenever the wave splash on our trousers. Zhen Jee and Hsieh Yie even walk along the shore with their hands stick together(CURANG!!!). While Kok Yong kept his mouth busy making weird noise like 'ting ting'.

Other people around the beach must think that 'These chinese are mad'. Khang Siang arrived later on his motorcycle but can't play with us because he's wearing a pair of shoes(pade muka!)

I found out that we're not good physic students. Although through the recent exam we filled our brains with the gravitational formula, we forgot that moon will force the wave to blah blah blah...

We watched the wave splashed on our slippers. We stunned for a second before running to grab our shoes. However, sand stick on my slippers and I dipped it in seawater with ZJ and HY. And guess what? One of my slippers is dragged by wave and vanished within seconds.

At that moment my brain popped out this question:"How can I drive with bare foot?!" This thought was immediately erased when my eyes caught sight of that slippers being washed to the shore. I ran towards it and 'menyambar' it before another wave take it away from me. Phew!

Before going to get some food, we washed the slippers with plain water. Hsieh Yie's slippers aka shoes(I dunno whether it's slippers or shoes) got sooo many sand that I think she might get a crab out of it.

We have some food at a stall nearby. Malay couple sitting near to us sure feel irritated because we're too noisy. We act like light bulbs, oops, spot light! Maybe they're trying to feel the serenity by hugging each other, looking at the sea but we wonder why they're not didakwa di Mahkamah Syariah(PA too much liao~)

Then we went to KB Mall. Can you believe it? Kok Yong took down all the bowling pins in one strike! It's really gou3 shi3 yun4. Haha. I'm back home at 10! It's the first time I hang out with friends for such long time. My mum sure regret let me have driving license.

PHOTOS:

I'm the cameracat. Zhen Jee curang, so as Hsieh Yie!Bird of same feather flocks together!

Notice that our trousers are wet? It's weird. I'm so tall but the wave still can splash my trousers(Ahaha~)

Exam, OH!

Finally, exam is over.

After struggling to 1.00 am every night, tonight I swear I will watch tv and sleep early!

Exam comes with these things: coffee, books, calculator, papers.

2 weeks ago I consumed chicken's essence with cordyceps every morning (from Sunday to Wednesday). It's so 'hot' until I pening and sick. My body is like on fire and I need to run water through my hand every few hours because it's weird to have hot hot hands. I even told Zhen Jee: Eh! If you act sexy maybe my nose will bleed like fountain.

Since then I stay away from chicken essence until yesterday(today chem exam mar~)

A summary of my exam life:

PA:
Haha! I draw the correct graph, but den hand itchy cancelled it and draw another. I feel like stabbing myself. Tikam-tikam all the objective. I can't understand why I spent so much time on it I still need to tikam.

MMT1 and T2:
OH! I can't solve simple irrational number. I leave no.5 and 11 blank. Haiz...how I wish I can have better brain. T2 even worse. I totally don't understand what's Q1 and Q8 asking. Others I just am4 kong3.

Physic:
It's really kanasai! I can't do most of the question. Even chapter 8 question I don't know how to do. What's wrong with my brain? It's funny: I take physic, I fail physic.

Chemistry:
Speechless. I admit I never listen to Mr. Ng's lesson. I've tried before but still can't get what he means. I left out chapter 8 & 9 because tuition haven't teach.

MUET:
Ahhaha! It's not an exam. We just play with each other during the exam while Mr. Yam walking around the class with a thick old bible under his armpit.

Maybe it's not my brain's fault, it's my attitude. Like what I've said before, I'm a pulpa.

Mafia~

My MUET speaking skill date: 23 October

Wish me good luck~

Coz I know my english is terrible, but nge nge wanna write blog in BI. Anyway, as i said before, I don't mean to show off my broken english, it's all my pc's fault and I still lazy to fix it.

Just now went to chem tuition, Mdm. Kwek told us to be hardworking, not to 'tindih' the notes until exam. Haiz...I know that a long time ago, but time isn't really enough for me(ironically, i still got time for blogging...hehe~)

I found out a new principle, and I call it Miao's Principle:
Miao's principle states that 'owing homework' is like owing ah long's money, if you don't give back the money in time you will never have the chance to pay back.

I got a new name now: Mek Mek Wen.

There's a stupid story behind it:
My bro wanted me to fetch him to his friend's house at Kubang Kerian. As method of safety, I asked Zhen Jee to accompany me.
On our way back, a sheep tried to cross the road. I was 60km/h and reluctant to brake so that the black proton behind me won't 'kiss my ass'.
However, ZJ who sit beside me shrieked 'MEK MEK'(can you believe it? I prefer she say "yang2! yang2!"). I was so shocked that I stopped my car immediately(luckily the car behind was alert) and the sheep cross the road safely.
This ZJ really forgot that I drive a 'manual' car instead of 'auto'. My left hand which suppose to hold on the gear closed my ear so that my ear drum din break into pieces.
I now call her 'Miao Miao Jee' coz she nearly knock down a cat a few days ago.

Currently: SICK.

Shit! I got sick for a few days liao. No energy to move. Even my favourite chocolate taste like plain water. Today MMT2 exam I think I nearly faint. My head really pening and it's hard for me to complete that stupid probability density function. Most of the friends said, "Eh! Why you take so many panadols?"

Sorry. I really pening until I dunno what I'm writing. Mucus(Hsieh Yie take that as yummy cendol~) run down my nose like Niagara waterfall.

Shit! Shit! Shit!

Oh!

Sorry~I've been too 'busy' with fooling around until abaikan this blog for a month...

Anyway, I don't have new stories to share with you all today, but just writing a few lines so that you all know that I'm still alive and to inform you about my recent school life(sorry, what else can a form six talk about besides stupid studies?)

12 Oct-PA
13 Oct-MMT1, MMT2
14 Oct-Physic, MUET
15 Oct-Chemistry

These are killing me!

How can I pass these exam?

My MM...it's never been a problem for me. All of us never need to READ MM for the past few years but now I blur with all the chapter!

Chem???Ah! Just forget about it!

Physic? I swear that I just know chapter 8!

PA...dunno what the crap is the teacher talking about~

Someone, anyone, stab me before I drown in the sea of FAIL~

OutBurst~

TMD!

I HATE MYSELF!!!

WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?!

ARGH!

DAMN IT!

C**** eh!!!!!

"Thanks a lot"

I swear that yesterday's incident will stick in my memory forever~

I was sooo lucky to look after form 3J and 3K for this week. Since this is their trial exam week, I got the chance to look at them 'dead goat fix gate' every morning, struggling between MM formula, Geografi terms Chinese ming2 ju4 and other subjects.

BUT! They have talkative mouths. a 20 minutes assembly can kill me easily. They talked as if they have't talked for the past 1000 years. Those mouths moving so fast until I wonder why they won't get their tongue tangled.

After failing to control them for almost a week, at last, my 'hero' came yesterday. Before he stand at the staircase, he tripped and almost fell. I tried hard to maintain my calmness, but still bu4 xiao3 xin1 laugh out with other form three kids.

Suddenly, this hero asked me, 'What form?' I said, 'Form 3.' while my fingers pointing these pupils around me. Mr. Ng showed his impatience look and pointed STRAIGHT to me, 'You Form 3?' I'm quite surprised and replied that I'm Lower Six.

He use his right finger to draw an imaginary circle around the area and said, 'After this all the pengawas and pekadis in charge of this area MUST stay back!' An immediate thought appear in my brain the split second he finished that sentence: "Oh, crap!"

Another pengawas who is suppose to stay back as well vanished as soon as the assembly is over, leaving behind 2 pengawas(Geok Khim and I) and a bunch of innocent-look pekadis. Ah Sir scolded us, 'Tell me, who should control them? These animals, who should control them? Har?"

We're so scared until we din even utter a word. Ah Sir PITCHAR into madness and instructed us to stand behind the flag pole and announced 'sing a song' a.k.a 'embarrass yourself live concert'.

The next minute I found myself(another pengawas also vanish mysteriously, I wonder how they did that) SALUTING the Jalur Gemilang with another 10 to 15 little pekadis, singing national anthem loudly in front of a bunch of Form 3 pupils watching and laughing from Bangunan Sains fifth floor. At the end of the singing, they clapped their hands and 'boo' us as well.

Ah Sir then lecture us for another 10 minutes, forcing us to slap those good stamina, long lasting mouths.

Since then, those little pekadis will give me a wide smile whenever they caught sight of me, reminding me the most 'faceless' moment that I went through with them.

Shit! For the first time in 5 years in Chung Hwa, I kena 'sing a song'!

'Thanks to you', Form 3.

Summary of Form 6 life~

Suddenly, I feel that I'm LAMNUA.

Chemistry
I realized that I've not listening to Mr. Ng's teaching for almost a month, as I don't know what's he's talking about. The bond bond thing is driving me crazy. There's only 3 or 4 people is paying attention, not including me, I can feel that my face got tattoo of big question marks.
Input: negative infinity

MMT2
Ms. Lim Lua Keow's MMT2, my god! I still got a bit blur about crapter 7 probability, but chapter 8 is totally kosong for me. I don't understand what's going on during the class. f(x)? Integration? g(x)? Excuse me? That day 1838 and I asked Kok Yong to do the homework for us, and teacher said to me, "So easy also you cannot do, haiyoh!" I answered in my heart:" Yeah! Coz I'm stupid."
Input: negative infinity

MUET
I'm sure that every person that read this blog didn't even listen to him before(Admit it!). "Sadly", only Chun Hui listen attentively to his Sodomy Case(Mr. Yam suddenly showed great interest in this story and have a discuss with us in CLASS). Still, I don't know what's he's trying to tell us besides his Jesus' story. Sorry~
Input: 0

MMT1
Oh! I was forced to listen to her. I started to regret that I've finished her homework. I should have the guts to go out of the classroom. Actually, I gain most of the T1 knowledge from my tuition teacher as I can't keep up with her speed. We started our class later than Bio class, and now we've now faster than them. Wow!Big applause for Ms. Lee please.
Input: 1 times ten to the power of negative infinity(got la...a lil bit)

Physic
Ahhh....physic? When teacher ask:" Understand onot?" I always nod my head, but I suddenly forgot all the things that I've learnt when I'm doing homework. Shit! But I still blur about the chapter 2, 4 and 5. Haiz...who can help me? I suddenly find out that I waste a lot of time because I didn't listen to the lessons and I'm not doing anything during that time besides staring blankly at the teachers.

Damn it! I just got 2.33 and the biggest problem is I failed my Maths!

Form Six is tough, but the main problem is I'm too lazy. I'm not a worm, I'm a pulpa, unwilling to move even an inch. Sorry girls from physic class. I've been too crazy and volcano-like for the past few weeks. Maybe I don't look like it, but I'm stressed!

Which rule state that I can't play when I'm 18?(Chun Hui scolded 8837and I for playing childish game in class.)I'm gonna go mad if there's still nothing for me to do.

Eh, 8837! Why don't you just kill me?
(P/S: 8837=1838=Ms Pitchar Eeeww)

~Peronda~

Shit!

I've never been a peronda, but suddenly kena jadi ketua peronda...

The 'benefit' of being a peronda is addressed as a C****(at least 10 times in a row) by 4K5 students.

Damn! You call me a C****?! You B****!I know you don't have one, and so as your mum.

I think I can throw her out of her class using one hand since she's so small size, but wait!

Her centre of gravity is too low(she's just until my shoulder).

As a physic class student, I know that it's hard for me to throw her because she's too stable.

She's heavy as well, so...I'll keep my energy 'conserved'.

Damn! Stop telling other pengawas about my secrets. What's the point telling them?

I got my own secrets(eating in class is not a secret), but is it a must for you to Sebar when I am ronda-ing our class?

Uh! This blog turn from my blog to 'Aduan Pengawas blog'

Eh eh! It's not what cha thinking about!!!

If I'm not mistaken, this 'incident' happened last week.

Pengawas need to fold up our long sleeve until our elbow, and this gives us(especially new or ex-chung cheng pengawas) a lot of trouble.

I need to fold it every night as I don't know how to do it with one hand or with my clothes on.

BUT! Ms. Pitchar Lee choose to fold it with one hand. And the result is...tak sama panjang~

She asked me to fold it for her since mine is better than hers(Hoho~it's true). So, we go into the same washroom. We don't want anybody to see us in untidy attire.(Mr. Wong's word stuck in my brain:"IMAGE!")

As I was folding her sleeve, we heard sounds and shadows under the door. We know there's someone waiting for the washroom, but we din quicken our actions.

When we finally open the door, I saw Canteen's tauke-soh is leaning on the wall right in front of us.

She smiled at me at the sight of me as a sign of relief. I can imagine her thought:" At last you come out. I've been waiting for ages."

But the moment she saw Hsieh Yie right behind me, she suddenly SCREAMED!(Ahhhhhhh!)

I really mean it, she SCREAMED!

Then she dashed into other washroom like an arrow.

I wonder what's in her thought.

We're not doing the 'thing' that she was imagining.

I'm just folding Hsieh Yie's sleeve, and that's it. NO MORE IMAGINATION!

Damn it! She really think too much!

Thanks to Hsieh Yie. Until now, I dare not go to canteen.

Maybe Hsieh Yie and I gonna be lucut by the end of this year~

Look before you leap, girls!

"Shhh!"
"Shhh!"
"Don't play!"
"Stop talking."

And finally I got a 'reply'.

'DOG!' This word came out from a 2Damar girl.

Hey girl, it's your fault that you don't wanna stand properly. I'm just doing my job, and you call me DOG?! If I'm not wearing that blue shirt I sure, no, I SWEAR I will %$^# until your mouth can''t even say 'D' for the rest of your life!

It's damn stupid, standing among a sea of stupid pupils who sikong they're 'pretty and clever', trying to "Shhh...." them whenever those non-stoppable mouth trying to make weird sounds.

Maybe they think that I look frail with one of my hands holding on another, walking among those form 2 girls. In fact, I'm holding my hands so that my angry right hand won't land on their 'beautiful, flawless(but actually "pimpleful")' faces.

That 2 Damar assistant monitor, can't you just stand still for 20 minutes? Are you a CACING? If I'm not wearing a blue shirt I SWEAR I'll broke your legs so that you can't move an inch for the rest of your life!

That shortie girl, my ex-classmate's ex-boyfriend sister, don't you ever sikong that your eyes can shoot out laser and I will let you say and play as you desire. Wanna play eye contact? Why don't you just check my identity out from the school magazine before you try to scare me with your sepet eyes?

Hsieh Yie worse. Some 'brave yet useless' 4sc2 girl threaten her...

WE CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE!!!!!

Those senior pengawas tell us: "That's how you behave when you're young, now you can feel the pain. Haha!"

I admit that Hsieh Yie and I 'cry' when thinking about our 'duty' when tuition.

Hell! We didn't behave like that when we're in Form 2!

Suddenly, Hsieh Yie and I have a good idea: "Why don't we form a da3 jia4 geng with the pengawas from L6SP1? I'm sure we won't lose to those bad pupil."

Damn it! Can anyone just tell those pupil about our backgrounds?

Dear pupils,
Just that I haven't have a tie doesn't mean that I'm from Chung Cheng! I've been standing on the same spot as yours for five years. If you still can't hear the announcement clearly that means it's your ears' problem! Before I forget, STOP ASKING ME WHETHER THE GIRL THAT DEKLAMASI SAJAK IS BEAUTIFUL OR NOT! It's none of your business!

Huh! At last, tomorrow will be the final day looking at your faces.

Hooray!

Excuse me, is it true?

I say first ar, I din write in BI because of "tianbeng", it's just my pc's problem.
Damn it!

To Ms. Pitchar Lee:
Ei, you are the one who choose to malas and stop blogging for a month, don't use me to "cross bridge" nah!

I am a bit confused.

Is it a joke? Me and Hsieh Yie?

Stupid and non-pengawas thing we did in class almost everyday:
1. ate "char siu pao" and bread almost every period.
2."bidar"(lastik) each other with V-shaped paper.
3. throw ruler at chemistry period.(limited to pitchar lee and have Ms. Wong as witness)
4. I never do revision, but HY do revision with another people and abaikan me(heavy colour light friends)

Our minat utama in the interview form:"menulis, membaca, and meN- wat i forgot liao"
Sounds professional, right?

Actually, we think these three words suits us best:"melepak dan mengumpat". Another one i dun wanna tell you all here, it's confidential~

Hsieh Yie say we may change other's way of judging SC 1 pupil.

Have you ever seen two SCIENCE ONE student playing "bidar" in class, and one of them have the best result in the whole Lower Six form?

Maybe in their eyes we should be book worms with our ass stick to the chair to do revision.

BUT...

We enjoy our food from my famous, compressable tupperware and lepak at the washroom whenever we're free. One of the BPP warned us not to eat in class during meeting. OMG!

Silly huh?

It's all over now. GAME OVER.

We "cry" at our white shirt(I just bought those for 100++ last month!) and blue dress and most importantly, my TUPPERWARE this thursday. NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

No more.

It's replaced by an easy-dirty white dress. No more food in class.

I'll starve to death.

Before I went crazy, can someone please stab me to death?

不吐不快

我真的是忍不住了！某些事，真是不吐不快。

教师节，有许多人都上台演唱。

演唱者的声音是许多人（包括我）都望尘莫及的，可是司仪的介绍让我坐了一次又一次的心情云霄车。

司仪激动地说：“让我们热烈欢迎中华美媚！！！”

我有点好奇，是何人有此容貌在这里称为美媚。可是，出来的人除了容貌姣好、声音嘹亮，并没有我想像中“美媚”样。

司仪先生真的很慷慨地赞美那些演唱者，譬如说：“校园美媚”。

到了压轴表演时，司仪按捺不住将要心脏病发的心情，尽全力吼道：“让我们以最热烈的掌声欢迎中华天后！！！！！”

本来向食堂走去的我故意慢慢走，想一睹“天后”风采。

竟然不是蔡依琳！

咳咳！错不在演唱者，毕竟这些称号不是他们自封的。

那，司仪先生也不该乱封名号给她们吧？

我并没有侵犯他人名声的意思，可是我个人认为司仪用词需要十分谨慎。

不一样的用词将会给别人一种“货不对办”的感觉。

相反的，“翻版费玉清”倒是最恰当的形容词。

因此，我希望下次的司仪会做足功课，以最贴切的形容词，用在最适合的人选身上。

希望这篇不会冒犯到任何人。我会随时删除。喜欢的话，留言吧！

PITCHAR! PITCHAR! PITCHAR!

请先了解以下短文：
Mass spectrometer is a device that can be used to determine the number of isotopes present. A sample is vaporised in the vaporisation chamber. The vapour is bombarded in the ionisation chamber before being accelerated by the electric field and deflected by magnetic field. The ions will be focused on the ions detector at the end.

有个人问雪瑜：“那个gas怎样被ionised？”

雪瑜的答案真是经典至极：
你看啊，ionisation chamber会射出electrons。那些atom或molecules就会被打到PITCHAR!然后变positively charged … … … … …”

在雪瑜继续之前，我已经为她的“Pitchar!” 笑得人仰马翻了。

想不到雪瑜竟然用三岁小孩的“词”来代替深奥的bombarded。

原来PITCHAR！＝bombarded

接下来的几节都围绕在pitchar这个新词。

“你再弄我我就pitchar掉你的笔盒。”

“你再kacao我我就pitchar掉你。”

我曾经说过她的“英文”太“深奥”，这次让我“领悟”到了。

我的“主人们”（修改、欠扁版）

看到雪瑜写的“我的家庭”，我想以一只猫的角度来编写2007年中华中学中五理一的家庭狂想曲（中文版，因为我脑袋里的英文单字有限，不好意思献丑）。


～当家～o.O
这个姓李名雪瑜的人生得高大威猛，虎背熊腰但面孔一点也不狰狞的大姐明明比我们小一岁，就是硬要当爸爸。不准家里人直呼她的名字，逼每个人叫她“爸爸”。虽然说是个不折不扣的女生（声音很高音噢），但偏偏要扛起整头家的责任。此人风流成性，一个不够，要纳妾！真是人心不足蛇吞象。上课时间老爱看英文故事书，搞得Blog里的英文把我的脑袋弄疼了。不管什么节都好，英文故事书一在手便六亲不认，考试前一个月才开始读Bio，可是照样在成绩单里扯出一条长长的A1，真是不公平。超级乐于助人的她是个名副其实的滥好人，噢不！是烂好人。刚刚拿到Lesen P就用时速八十公里来吓人，在U-turn处展现“飘移”技巧，幻想当“KB Drift”主角。


～大娘～^^
看她脸都猜得出是个贤妻良母。忍功一流，对于老公要纳妾一事忍气吞声毫无怨言。对老公“言听计从”，是个任劳任怨的巡察员。只有在站岗的时候才会显露出“大娘”的霸气，其余时候都是在小鸟依人般黏在雪瑜旁边。可以用两节Physic节在半张foolscap纸内画上五百只乌龟，神奇咧！MM是她的拿手好戏。当别人在努力听Mdm. Khor的课时，她已经以光速完成了所有的数学题。在我住院时带妈妈和二娘来探望我时很好心地带水果，害我感动了一个星期。


～二娘～>_<
真是！明明就是二奶，偏要装出一个可怜楚楚，无辜的样子！无框眼镜加上锐利的眼神和她的二奶身份一点都不符合。身为家里的Perempuan Jalang，总是在外头拈花惹草，还亏爸爸那么疼她，果然是“XX精”。她患上“心脑不一症”。在别人叫她“Jalang”时露出怨恨的眼神，但是笑着的嘴吐露出“你ar…”真是不协调！在还没去Segi College念Early Childhood Education课程前已经到处放话：“你们全部的孩子一律免费！”她大概下半辈子是打算吃草了。明明被我们欺负得半死，可是学校里的小妹妹小弟弟当神般崇拜。无知的学弟妹呀，你们应该看看一个明星身后不堪的一面呀！ 阿洁啊，我不是特意要炸你的咧，只不过你身份特殊，我只好被逼menjalangkan你的名声。


～管家～^O^
0分！她的工作能力零分！自从四月八日到KBU读Graphic Design后，本猫的食物盘便空到现在。还把家里搞得一团糟。还用猫的背包偷偷养一只青蛙（不要抵赖！一定是你干的！！！请参考之前的青蛙写真集）。当向她要食物时便仗着自己Pendidikan Seni Visual拿A1，画出一只瘦小的ikan bilis干，真是超级没良心！为了省下广告费，她利用Friendster来宣扬自家店买的蛋糕。佩蓉啊！你也未免太精打细算了吧？即使如此，也无需用我这只猫来过桥呀！我的食量比跟你们这些“人类”，简直就是相差天与地嘛。你看我对你酱好，把你写在Blog里面，哪里像那个没良心的老爸，把我们两人丢弃在文章外。


～水甄～+_+
这个天天嚷着说是她把我从路边捡回来的人，是世界上最有条理的人。请相信我。全班只有她把Nota Sejarah黏在一本硬皮书，还用五颜六色的Highlight做重点。工作很有效率的未来酒店管理人。可以在一节或下课时完成功课。坚持“今日事今日毕”的个性证明了她完全、肯定、绝对、一百巴仙不是雪瑜的“亲生骨肉”。对功课也要求完美的她，会要求我们不准弄皱她的簿子或纸张。为了接下来的功课，大家都小心翼翼地对待她的功课，好像接圣旨般不容任何差错。水甄，这三年来的功课辛苦你了。“如果没有你，semakan buku不知怎么过～”

～美钧～@.@
她呀！竟然舍得可以抛弃我，让我跟那个没良心的老爸坐在Physic班里面？你看！老爸连MMT1的答案都不要给我耶～呜呜…美钧其实也是其中一个Homework Supplier。只是她对功课没什么要求，只要不把她的功课弄不见，就万事OK。字写得小、整齐、可爱是她的特征。每次在水甄旁边有技巧地指点她，所以两人很少吵架。她很少炸人，可是万一金口一开就绝对不会嘴软，肯定把mangsa（也就是无辜的我）炸得粉身碎骨、死无全尸。如果雪瑜讲很笨的话，她会装出一个很厌恶、并一边摸头发（你仔细看，是真的喔）、一边好像很不甘愿的样子说：“Daddy ar…”

看官是不是被这个错综复杂的家庭关系搞得吐血了？是的话，那证明偶成功地把这个家庭写出来了，因为…它根本就很乱！

致：“欠骂”的伦竺

伦竺：

你如果很想要泡在酸柑水里面可以直接跟我讲。我可以让你哭。

那些“酸言酸语”，就像把酸柑汁滴在心中的伤口一样。那不是痛，那是酸，那是恨！

你没有双鱼座的敏感，所以你不会把人家的“酸”放在心上。

你没有穷过，你不会明白我的苦衷。

你没有那种当别人在炫耀自己父母职业时，转头问你：“你爸爸妈妈做什么工？”的窘迫。
我不希望这些窘迫会成为家里的“传统”。

你没有病。我每个月的医药费平均要一百块，我不希望自己在贫病交加中结束自己的一生。至少也要一个棺材。

你的食量不大。我很怕饿肚子。

那天，有个演讲者来学校问我们：“读书是为了什么？”

全校答案是：“钱。”

嘉莹说我们两人是好胜心太重才读书的。我不否认。

没错！那些所谓的“亲戚”的嘴脸，是我读书的最佳动力。
我六岁时拿了第二名，自以为有几个臭钱的姑姑给我一句：“小时了了，大未必佳。”

请你在懒惰不想读书时起身做家务，然后自问接下来的五十年是不是会对这种工作有兴趣。如果答案是“是”的话，干脆立即退学，在家努力学习当清洁工算了。

总结来说：我不希望又有人被“酸”、重复我的心情、重复我的恨意。我没有悔意，我只有恨意！

突然发现自己怨气很重的肥猫 上

※最近医院停止供应Fucicort，取而代之的是药效很低的Fobancort。我又要自己出钱了，fcuk!

※喂！看过就算，不要摆在心里噢！（你说你在哭，有没有发现到我给你的message连一个“haha”也没有？）

切酸柑记

前几晚到某友人家去，被某人大姐尖酸地问了句：“你没有拿到JPA咩？”

俺听得出弦外之音，但仍很客气地陪笑说：“哈哈～门都没有啦！”

提起MUET，就顺口问问友人有没有兴趣。她说没有。

某人大姐又语带讽刺地说：“你一定是要拿Band Six的啦～”

说到俺家阿兄到UTAR念书，毕业于马大的某人大姐又说：“读政府的才算有料！”

俺一整晚好像泡在酸柑水里酱，变泡菜了。

俺深知自己的底，并不是伤心自己没有拿到奖学金，只是恨自己当初不努力！

俺说不出叽哩咕噜的洋文，只能怪自己不看洋片、不看洋书！

回家路上，俺问老母有没有为生两个不争气的孩子而生气。

老母说：“不用跟人家一般见识，只要你们不像她一样讲话就很好了。”

切记：中六是忍辱负重的。只要挨得过，就在爆炸的那一瞬间，你会比任何一个人来得大声、闪亮。

前提是，你必须以最大的努力度过这一年半的每一分、每一秒。

愿以俺酸溜溜的一整晚，与所有中六生共勉之。

青蛙写真集

前天心血来潮，想要洗一洗背包。

当我一手把摊在地上的背包抓起来时，一样圆鼓鼓的“东西”掉了出来。

突然，那圆鼓鼓的东西在“叭”一声掉在地上过后跳了一下。

请相信我，我第一次尖叫了出来（平常都是用喊的）。

乍看之下，那青蛙还蛮像一粒球。

我马上为这不速之客拍了几张可爱（胖嘟嘟算可爱吧？）的照片。

这篇就算是青蛙的写真集吧！

原来

Orientation Week总算过了。

第一天要画大象（好心！我都Form Six了还要玩这种东西！）。介绍美丽的“它”时炸了不少人，有一种很不好意思的感觉。得到的评语是：“你欠扁！”

第二天玩心理测验。原来（真的是原来）我是那种超不遵守规则的人。一整组臭味相投的人坐在一起，我怀疑校长会偷偷抄我们的名下来。

第三天（我好像是第三天）的时间观念测验里，原来（很讽刺的）自己很会浪费时间。怪不得成绩酱“好”。Career Test里，原来我适合当Architect。汗～

原来，我是这么地不了解自己。

原来，我很没出息地没有规划将来。

昨天，不用上课（因为很多老师没有看到课程表），讲话讲到喉咙痛。没办法，佳雯她们回来，喊太多。没什么认识到新朋友。我们太乱了，新学生都很勤劳地读书甚至背书！

中六。很害怕，很担心，却很期待。

我倒！

我承认我做不到啦！

梅花的生日礼物分成两份：Stout一瓶和一首歌～

前面那部分超简单，小贩中心就有了～

后者太难了吧？

梅花，我可以放弃吗？

三个月我也吐不出那首歌耶～

不要谋杀我的手指啦～

已经是化石了啦～

你就当作做功德吧～

为什么？为什么？

下个星期开学了～

是时候开始戒掉电脑，练习早睡等等…

对于那些拿到Matriks和IPTA的同学，请你们谢谢我和千千万万个拿不到奖学金的人。

我们的六块（Matriks）和十块六（IPTA），聚少成多～

不要浪费我的十六块六，请你们用功读书～

呜呜～不公平！！！

为什么？为什么我什么也没拿到！

早知道不要申请，浪费钱和希望～

牙膏？？？

对于牙膏广告，我真是被搞糊涂了。

某个广告说：“XX，八十百分比的牙医都选用的牙膏。”

另一个广告说：“XX，八十百分比的牙医选用的品牌。”

再一个广告说：“XX，大多数牙医使用的品牌。”

咦？

他们选的调查公司很奇怪～

谁的才是对的？他们心里最清楚。

我们则一头雾水…

我用我有限的脑力，都算不出两种都八十百分比的状况。

到底要怎样算啊？

谁能告诉我啊？

史上最强女生吹牛～

这是我看过最让人喷饭的笑话，希望你们喜欢～

我的小名叫小美，大名叫大美。
据说我出生的时候是笑着出来的，护士小姐抱我到妇产房转，我笑了一下，想不到全房怀男婴的产妇全部早产，那些男婴刚出来一个头，也不哭，就眨着眼睛滴溜溜地跟我转，嘴里还叫着：“美！美！”直到我出去后，才听到后面一声接一声的嚎啕大哭。
在我幼年的时候，家里请了一位女大学生来做家教。教了一天她就走了，原因是她在我面前太自卑，从那以后，她再也不照镜子了，一照就哭。我的童年一直是在家里的，不敢外出，因为我第一次去逛公园，路上的司机、行人都盯着我看，导致八辆车连环撞、七人受伤、六个骑自行车的掉进沟渠、五人撞到电线杆。
我只去过那一次的公园。第二天，听说公园里的花全部枯萎。那时我自己还不知道什么叫美，不知道这是什么原因。我读书的时候，家里就交给我面纱，让我蒙着脸。我一直读到大学都不曾揭过一天面纱。大学有位校花，自尊心特强。一天不小心看到我的面容，一向活泼的她一下子变得郁郁寡欢了，几天都不见其踪影。听同学说，她去韩国整容了。她整容回来，又偷偷看了我的面容，什么也不说就默默地走开，次日又去韩国了。　　
我以为可以好好毕业的，想不到有天自习晚了，我骑自行车回家，在校门口掉了面纱，被正面的男生看到，只见他睁大了眼，“咚”的一声倒下了，送到医院已经回天乏术。医生说是因为极度兴奋引起的心脏病发，临终前他面带微笑，说了最后三个字：“真美呀！”
为此我深感内疚，夜晚跑到天桥上大哭，在我揭开面纱擦泪的同时有记者不小心拍到，次日我的真面容上报，第三天全城所有有家室的男人都要求离婚。白天，男人们都到我站过的天桥上徘徊，晚上就每天带被单睡在天桥上。
我在此城已待不下去了。家人决定送我到美国。我在美国参观艺术长廊时看到《蒙娜丽纱的微笑》。正当我摘下墨镜准备好好欣赏时，蒙娜丽纱却突然双手蒙面。从此，名画《蒙娜丽纱的微笑》没有了，倒又出了另一名画──《蒙娜丽纱的忧虑》。　　
我痛苦万分，我恨我自己。我决定回国，到佛祖庙请求佛祖赐我一死。我以真实面目跪在佛祖面前说：“佛祖呀，我不是恶人。我只是因为美，却让人、社会、世界产生这么大的罪恶。我现在只想请佛祖赐我一死。”刚说完，抬头看见佛祖的面容竟然变得有点拘谨，小声地说：“你不能死，我不会让你死。我要还俗追求你。”我惊慌逃走。
我在海边边跑边自问：“我真的那么美吗？”我不相信，于是跑到一个酒店开了间房，在浴房面对镜子，我一件件脱去我的衣服（我长这么大，从未看过自己的身体，因为家里人自卑没装镜子）。我脱下墨镜，静静看着自己的身体。霎时我呼吸困难，心脏缓跳，脑中一片空白。我知道，我，我，我…

我，我就要被自己美死了。


男生版的明天再出～

雨天～

突然间下雨了～

前几天热得没有话讲，连客厅都好像变成蒸气浴室…

雨一下就下好几天，我有点担心…

我的校鞋要怎么办？？？

房间里的冷气机很奇怪～

热天它就出热气，冷天就连25度变成18度～

天气忽冷忽热，请大家小心生病～

Form Six~~~

Form Six下个月开学噢～

我的校裙都准备好了耶～

（只有四件，因为其中一件中过Glass wool，洗不掉～）

校裙只是把旧校裙的上半段拆掉～

至于校服嘛…把以前在校服上的名字和从哥哥的旧衣的校徽缝上去就可以了～

好便宜噢～

耶！开学了～^^

呜～开学了…￥_￥

我的药～～～

最近手指们会唱歌（唱歌＝龟裂）…

很难得噢，六只手指同时唱歌～

它们张开血盆大口，长度从5mm至13mm不等，深度为2mm。

好痛噢～

尤其是写字时，简直就是痛彻心扉～

笑眯眯的右手食指就连骨头里面也痛～～

政府医院也真是的，才给一两支药就要我用上两个月～

我每次都在两个星期内用完耶～

USM更厉害，我连药名（Fucicort）也给了，她居然…

给我我所看过最大包的Antibiotic…O_O

当然，她连Fucicort也不给…

右边的药一支要RM11.50（小的噢，大的要RM25.00），所以我选择到医院拿～

Made in Denmark，药效一流～

根据你们的要求，我总算放照片了～

手指的那张照片我拍了十多次才成功，因为我的“左手给右手拍照”～

劈椰～

最近迷上“劈椰”这个活动～

买几粒香椰还不到十块。

一个凳子，一把汤匙，一个大铁杯加上最重要的大菜刀，就可以自己在院子里慢慢享受～

我当然不敢“大刀阔斧”，毕竟我还要我的手指～

劈椰时，家里刀光剑影，寒气逼人，没人敢靠近我～

当椰水和椰肉在铁杯里时，就是我最轻松的时候～

一个无所事事的人，一个悠闲的心情，一杯满满的椰水，自在度过一个下午～～～

奖学金？唉～

今天，我浪费了自己的时间。

明明知道不可能的，为什么还要硬闯？

投资投在在没有回报的地方。

看着镜子中的自己，根本就是偷穿妈妈衣服装大人的小孩子。

进到里面，我什么紧张都没有。脑里一片空白～

旁边的巴基斯坦脸的男生，名字很长的马来女生，害我误以为是老师的尚冠还有很久不见的运顺，面对着面试官，也面对着价值好几万元的奖学金。

为了自己的前途，为了一个留学海外的机会，也可以说，为了出名，大家俨如大人般谈论着“国事”。

为了应付，我动用了脑里有限的英文单词，加上马来单词，串成一句句的废话～

真是不明白，反对一个人的意见，真的可以为自己加分吗？

如果是这样的话，那么，我可吃了大亏耶～

总算扮演好衬托红花的绿叶的角色了～

呼～

Lesen P…我来了～

我终于考到了！！！

不用再挨骂了～

不用再晒太阳了～

不用再傻傻地等了～

路是我的了～～～

好开心噢…

心情一个字可以形容：爽！

用“非笔墨所能形容”太无聊了～

如果爸爸再忘记载我回家的话，我决定冒险偷他的车钥匙～

反正…

喔呵呵呵呵～～～

呆猫～

我好呆噢～

叫人家带真的成绩单的人是我～

结果，忘记带的人也是我～

超呆的代价是－－浪费雪瑜的车油，浪费很多人的时间…

呜呜…真是不好意思～

为了向雪瑜赔罪，我依她的话，写了这篇“超呆论”…

在此向雪瑜和她哥哥致谢，向美钧和Ah Soh致歉～

“谢谢～”

“我以后不敢了…呜呜…”

理想、现实～

我在理想和现实间徘徊…

久久无法释怀…

3B其实也不赖…

梦想正向我走来…

可是我考得很坏…

当理想和现实坐在一排…

我了解他们不会永远等待～

哭笑不得…啊～

我的心情好奇怪噢～

我到底应该有怎样的感受？

从En. Tan Ao的手中接过成绩单，眼睛很快地往下看。

看到一个B3时，心沉了下去。

我到底应该哭还是笑？

我的Bio拿到B3，所以应该哭，对吧？

可是，成绩比我想象中的还要好一点，我应该笑。

GCE也比我想象中的好，我应该笑。

哭和笑都平衡掉了。我现在哭笑不得～

话说回头，Bio的成绩酱“好”，到底应该赖谁？

应该赖那只臭蚊子害我进医院而浪费一个星期的学习时间，还是怪老师上课太无聊？

我应该为自己在补习班睡着而负起责任。

我说过，我不会哭。我实现了自己的诺言～

瘫痪～～～

今天，STPM成绩公布了。

突然想到，明年的今天（可能），会是我拿成绩的日子。

SPM明天才公布。

我已经做好准备，迎接…

未来至少十天的网路大瘫痪！！！

要申请的千千万万个中学生，都在博那几万分之一的可能性。

大家都抱着：“可能会抽到我～”的心态。

要申请东西很麻烦，麻烦的是要等很久。

唉～

成绩～～啊…！

成绩大后天就要公布了噢～

STPM比较早一天。

说实话，没什么紧张的感觉耶～

很多人都说：“好紧张！好紧张！”

MSN里的Personal Message也被许多人用来发泄自己的紧张。

之前，各种公布日期被传来传去，搞得人心惶惶。

唉呀！就顺其自然吧～

Superstar

下午两点十九分五十二秒，我的手机收到一封短讯。

上面写着：
准备相机和签名簿。有个Superstar会到哥打巴鲁机场。

我的脑海里开始慢慢搜寻着有关明星来本地的新闻。

奇怪！都没听说嘛。也没看到有人在推销票啊！

我很紧张地打给传送者。等了将近二十秒，我劈头就问：“良！是哪一个Superstar来？”

“就是我啦！”我切了一声，连拜拜也省下就按下手机红色的按钮。

突然觉得背后一阵寒呀寒，猫毛一根一根地飘落在地。

乍看之下，好像秋天落叶。

唉呀！等下又要扫地了～

冷汗一滴一滴地落在地上。

乍看之下，好像下雨。

讨厌！扫完地还要抹地～

螃蟹的启示

从梳邦回到KL Sentral，已经是下午四点半了。晚上八点半的火车，可能来不及赶上。

在买票时，有个年轻的学生样女生在我回头时很热情地跟我说声嗨。

心情非常恶劣的我心里第一个闪过的想法是：我认识你吗？

她先掏出证件，然后自我介绍：“我是Spastic Association的Volunteer。你有听过Spastic Association吗？”

我有点不耐烦，又不好意思浇她一头冷水，于是假装很有兴趣又很无奈的样子说：“对不起，我很赶时间。”

可是她锲而不舍地跟着队伍向前，一边向我介绍：“Spastic就是我们讲的痉挛。你只需要捐十块就可以帮到一个病人了…”

口袋里只剩下三十块的我，只想快快打发掉她。于是，我问她：“一块钱行吗？五块钱行吗？”

这时轮到我买票了。她便说：“不要紧啦！你还是学生嘛！”

买好票后，我看了看钱包里红色的十块，突然有种莫名的悔意。我冲回去，企图找回她。

可是，却连她的影子也没看到。我只好赶上地铁。

晚上，我梦到了自己被一只螃蟹钳住，自己则用一枝树枝打它，结果把它的一只眼睛打掉了。

我觉得好奇怪。可是，我过后却想到那个梦的意思：

我的心瞎了。

后悔，又有什么用？

不知道为什么，我突然间觉得很后悔～

我的“上课回忆录”如下：

在华文、英文、高数节趴在桌上睡觉～
在数学、道德和马来文节做别的功课～
在历史节发呆～
从来不听生物和物理老师的课～
在化学节打瞌睡，永远分不清要做的实验～
别人上EST节时跟佳雯发颠～
分成绩册前求老师不要踢爆我上课的情况～

成绩要公布了，我可不紧张…

反正结果是很难看的，我是绝对不会哭的～

我清楚地明白，这种上课态度,即使祖先显灵，结果肯定是坏的。

对于自己做过的一切，我真的真的很后悔。

读中六是我对自己的承诺：我要用一年半的时间弥补过去两年的过错。

喂！不准你嘲笑我～

Happy Valentine's Day

今天是情人节噢～

很无聊地传送以下的短讯：

你是否正独自一人在宿舍里高唱：“寂寞难耐～寂寞难耐”唉！我同情你…如果你还在这个节日里读书（听说学院正在举行考试），还在知识的茫茫大海里浮浮沉沉，这次，我的短讯还不是你的救生艇。只是想跟你说声：”情人节快乐！“顺便劝你们别在餐厅里看到别人双双对对而眼睛喷火。我承认我是个好人，用短讯来温暖你们那寂寞的心～（还有，今晚不要Appear offline，制造名花有主的假像，我严厉谴责这些自欺欺人的行为）哈哈哈～

今晚，上网的人少了，心知肚明啦～

还有，那个佩蓉，居然以生病为由，拒绝我和雪瑜去她家。

可是，却看到她在上网！！（比平时迟了很多…为什么啊？）

一定是有节目，但不想我们来破坏…

唉！我俩还真不受欢迎呢！

无论如何，在此祝贺各位：

情人节快乐～

愿天下间有情人终成眷属～

Bio，Physic，傻傻分不清楚～

国会明天解散。

看来，成绩很快就要公布了…>.<（这是到处三八回来的结果）

唉！对于成绩，我没什么关心。

无法改变的事实，怎样担心也没用。呜～

我倒是担心一样东西…到底要Bio还是Physic？

“手掌也是肉，手背也是肉”应该换成“Bio不容易，Physic也难”～

我到现在还不知道自己的兴趣在哪里，也不知道自己喜欢什么～

我还担心一样东西－－以后谁借我抄功课？

抄功课是这几年学会的。

中四中五的功课是由水甄和美钧提供，中三的我忘了～

美钧选Bio，不可能为了抄功课而读Bio吧？

所谓：“天涯何处无功课，何必只抄一本书？”

所谓：“功课要交自然抄。”呵呵，“船到桥头自然直”改编。

问世间，功课为何物？

吾辈答曰：“废物！”（相信这是很多人的答案）


※Chemistry是必选科，Bio和Physic之间只能选一个！

鼠年行大运～

新年又到了～～

有史以来第一次到处放话：“你们要来就初二来，太迟的话年货就被我吃光光了。”

今年做了好多饼呢！例如：花生饼、黄梨饼等等…其实也不算多啦～

新年前，我家的争夺战把kuih kapik吃光了。

可是，当梅花一家大小坐在客厅时，我妈居然拿出了一罐新的kuih kapik！！！

今年蛮多人来的噢～雅梅、佳雯、春玲、昱豪、康祥都来了～

问到他们要喝什么时…

很明显的，佳雯、雅梅和春玲都在Mr.Wong那边喝醉了。

佳雯醉到跟我要菊花茶，亏我特地留下Anglia Shandy和Jolly Shandy给她～

这些人来时，全都一副醉猫样…

唉～我真粗心，忘了问佳雯她姓什么…她应该会答错～

对不起啊！荒废了这个blog酱久…新年嘛～

在此恭祝各位：

新年快乐
万事如意
心想事成
恭喜发财

小动作～

刚才吃早餐时，遇到多年不见的Ah Keong和Ah Loon两兄弟。

唉！七年不见，我都差点认不出他们了。（都怪他们啦！一个剃光头，一个戴黑眼镜）

基于礼貌，我妈请他们吃早餐。

突然，Ah Keong和我妈同时伸手出来拿我面前的卫生纸。

虽然说Ah Keong先拿到卫生纸，可是他把捉在手里的卫生纸让给我妈～

说真的，那个小小的动作给了我很大的震撼。

换作是我，我会很快地抽起我的卫生纸，再把装着卫生纸的盒子推过去。

如果（我是说如果）很有礼貌的话，我会把那个盒子推过去让长辈先拿卫生纸，才轮到自己拿。

这是一个微不足道的动作，可以说，甚至没有人会注意到。

我心里暗暗吃了一惊。我可没有看过这么有风度的人。

可能你觉得我有点大惊小怪，我突然发觉到，小小动作，蕴藏着很大、很大的学问。



※这两兄弟是我二零零一年去砂拉越时的队友，我还记得临行前他们的妈妈教训他们：“你们记得照顾阿文！”他们都很听话地点头（好像有一点点不甘愿）。可是过后还是帮我买食物～嘿嘿嘿…

想当年～

突然间回忆起中学五年做过的“笨的事情”。

中一…太久了，那时很胆小，没什么轰轰烈烈的壮举。还记得和那时的班长颖儿跑过2 Pinang外面时勾到她的脚，两人跌在地上。整个班都转过头来看我俩的狼狈相。

中二…那时不知道为什么，很用心地听课，总是记得地理老师唱歌般的讲课。我还记得Cow's eye是我解剖的～

中三…呵呵，我整天有事没事就捉弄慧仪，不然就是不小心弄翻坐我后面丽玮的水瓶。很奇怪耶，慧仪好像不会生气的～

中四的时候，和慧仪在班上大玩追逐。结果被路过的Quick捉到。两个人很有默契地在老师还未开口之前猛道歉。只记得老师说了一句：“Sudah Form 4 masih mau act macam budak Form 1!”真是丢脸～

中五…都是那个臭佳雯，拿Silver Nitrate扫在我脸上，害我一直被每个人问：“你的脸做么？”去年还喂我吃Zinc & Copper powder，惊吓之余只记得味道是苦的。

唉！真的是想当年～

宅猫～

最近爱上了周杰伦的《阳光宅男》，真的好好听噢～

这让我想更了解宅男、宅女这个新词。

它的意思好像是窝起来的年轻人耶～

怎样肯定自己是不是“宅猫”？

我特地去找出以下的测验，我们自己看看是不是宅女吧！

宅女自测：

1.会对某件事物、动漫、电玩、歌星、某个人、某件事情等等有突发性痴迷，并不能自拔。
2.依赖电脑，长期不能用电脑将会要命。
3.总是想上网，但上网却无所事事，老是挂在网上。
4.有时候会很厌恶上学，但却没有办法。
5.一般情况下是独身。
6.极少出门，喜欢呆在家里。如果参与一个需要出门的活动，往往要花很长的时间考虑。
7.不喜欢接触陌生人，认识陌生人会有恐惧感。
8.性格有点两面性。在不喜欢的事情面前，会掩饰自己内心想法，总是得过且过，偶尔觉得自己有双重性格。
9.最少喜欢收藏一种或者多种物品，并乐此不疲。
10.没有一个规律的作息时间表。
11.喜欢或有写日记，或用相片记录自己的生活。
12.有喜欢上虚拟人物的倾向，例如漫画里面的角色，书本里面的角色等非现实生活中的人物。
13.闷。宅是世界上最闷的人。可能会被人评论自己闷。


如果你符合多个特征，你是宅女了！

如果你符合全部特征，你是高级宅女了！



惨了惨了，我好像是宅猫了～

形象VS诚实

我承认啦！！！

没错！就是我！最没有形象的就是本人啦！！！

大前天晚上，我有幸到中华工商总会参加USM的新年晚会（谢谢你噢，宛珊～）…

也许是我们那楚楚可怜的眼神，加上我们那一身乞丐装扮…

我和雪瑜发出的求救信号很强，因为我们只是站在大门一下子，就有人来问我们需不需要帮忙。=.=

我们说出了要求后，她立刻“奋不顾身”地为我们办事。

事成后…有礼貌的我很不要脸地说：“谢谢你！谢谢你！你最美的了！”

雪瑜制止我说“那种话”（废话）。

她笑得合不胧嘴。

回家之前，我特地向她重复那番话。 （唉！酱大了还心甘情愿地相信“这种话”）

我相信她那晚一定睡不下了。

你说，我是不是没有形象？！

※我是不是很诚实咧～

无业游民

现在真的很闲～

除了每个星期日到星期三早上去学会计，星期四、六早上去驾车。我真的觉得没有什么生存意义了～

看着身边的朋友一个接一个去打工，我还在家里浪费米，总觉得心里有点不服气...

我也想去！！！

目前每天下午和晚上都漫无目的地在上网，有一种颓废的感觉。

我好怕！我怕开学时，手不能控制笔（每年开学时的病症）。

怎么办？？？

呜～

Sebastian--Lobster or Crab: That is the Question

Aim:
To determine whether Sebastian is a crab or a lobster.


Hypothesis:
Sebastian is a crab.


Technique:
Use eyes to see the picture and observe it.


Material:

• Pictures of Sebastian from the web

Apparatus:

• Computer
• Eyes
• Spectacles
• Brain

Procedure:
1. A computer was used to search for the pictures of Sebastian.
2.A spectacles was put in front of my eyes to observe the pictures clearly.
3.My brain was used to interpret the messages sent from my eyes through the optic nerves.
4.The observations was recorded in sebastian-crabby220.blogspot.


Observations:

1. Sebastian had one pair of "scissors".
2.Sebastian was red in colour.

Conclusion:
Sebastian is a crab.
The hypothesis was accepted.

※This is a respond to Maria's comment on 13th January.

※Sebastian IS a crab...

※This is fully written in the latest SPM experiment format.

没有天分，就是没有天分！

我昨天又去学驾车。真是个惨痛的经历.....

一大清早，我就在aunty的指挥下，学习上斜坡和泊车。

“来，踏油上斜坡。”我咽了咽口水，不管三七二十一，把车开上去。

“踏clutch！Brake！拉handbrake！看到车镜到橙色柱子那边，就是你的车轮在黄线里面。”

“来，踏油。”在斜坡上，我轻轻地踩下油板。

“用力一点到车抖一下。”我鼓起勇气踩油。

“OK。车抖了。你再踩油给它抖第二次，然后放handbrake，在下来的时候换二号。”

幸亏，下斜坡没有我想象中的那么可怕。我还担心车会飞出去。

学泊车的时候，我才领教了小Kancil车steering的力量。

我费了九牛二虎之力，双手才把转得动它。

可是，aunty却轻轻松松地单手转动它！

后来，轮到酷酷的uncle教我。

第二次在公路上奔驰的我，手忙脚乱的，被狠狠地修理一顿。

“看前面，不要看你的脚！”

“不要看别的车。”（因为我担心会撞到别的车）

“放松一点，不要乱乱转steering！”

“这个，是草。那个，是路。不要驾进来草里面！”

“你以为你在玩game啊？！Game完了只是game over。你现在完了就没有了，你知道吗！”

呜～这是我人生中第N次觉得自己一无是处。

哇哇哇哇哇～

Lesen L

今天一早，我觉得自己长大了一点。

我第一次在公路上驾车。

大约早上九点，我坐在白色的Kancil里，听aunty详细地讲解驾车时须知的事项。

“OK。你现在打signal去kanan。踏clutch，进一号gear，然后直直走。”

我战战兢兢地踩下油门，马路是老娘的了！！！

“前面有一个T-junction，看到吗？OK，现在脚贴住油就好，踏clutch，gear换三，踏clutch，换二，可以踏brake了。白线在wiper那边就算标准。”

“不要一下子放clutch！车会发抖。”

“一号gear要慢慢放，二号的放一半，三号四号可以马上放完，但是不要突然放掉。”

我被aunty的kiri和kanan搞到头昏脑胀，最后干脆用耳朵驾车。

“这边你自己看左右有没有车。”

我目光呆滞地看右边。

“喂！看左边也是。有没有车？有没有车？”

我看了看。“没有”

“没有？”我又看了看。“嗯，没有。”

突然，有一辆车从左边冲过。

Aunty转头，咬牙切齿地说：“你色盲啊你？!”

其实，是aunty的头影响我的视线啦！我是无辜的～

二零零八年一月十日早上十点二十七分，阳光不猛烈，我把车停在马路边，突然觉得，自己好像突然长大了一点点。

感谢老天爷，我还活着。

Crabby自白

知道我为什么自称Sebastian吗？
因为新年要到了，红彤彤的，好应节。
因为我爱吃螃蟹。
因为...因为
老实一句...我妈说我的嘴唇很像它。


其实，这有什么不好？
好处：如果有一天，我沦落到没有饭吃，我可以去拍lipstick的广告。我保证我可以明显地秀出before and after的效果。
坏处：浪费老板的lipstick。


请你们不要羡慕我。如果你要的话，找一个人对准你的嘴唇甩你两巴掌，一定可以比我厉害。


不管怎样，今天螃蟹档正式开张。请各位多多支持～

二零零八年一月九日晚上十一时四十五分

P/S:本人自恋程度已到出神入化的地步，此Blog有心脏病者不宜。